so as you can tell from my art page, i tend to gravitate towards realism, i like to do realistic portraits of people i like, and while this has not always been the case, it has for most of the time i have been serious with my art. i think before i learned that i liked to draw people, animals were my favourite thing to draw, and yes, i drew them realistically. (or at least to the best of my ability, as this was when i was like 10 or something.)
For a long time, i have found a lot of value and satisfaction in drawing realism over and over again. It was the only thing i did for years. I continued to improve my technical skills, to the point where i feel like theres not much more for me to learn in the area of realism. if you give me any photo i can copy it near perfectly. I get a lot of praise for my realistic drawings, and its understandable. People are impressed by my skills, because not many people have the ability to draw realism as effortlessly as I do. But the truth is, it does get old. I am not a photocopier, and honestly, doing a photocopier's job just doesnt make me feel accomplished anymore.
I think the point of art, or at least one way to look at it, is for the artist to show the world how they see the world, how things feel to them. To show everyone the things they can't see, that are unique to the artist's perspective of life. So while drawing realism can be important and beautiful and skillful, and a good way to learn, it's not really what I think artists are meant to do. Realism is already what everyone else sees. It shouldn't be the only thing an artist does. Not to say that artists who only do realism aren't artists or don't have value. This is just my thoughts on being an artist and what it means to me, but it is totally subjective and you are welcome to think I am wrong.
I think that the reason why I am so drawn to realism is because I have a very logical and technical view of the world. By that I mean that I try to see things objectively, as they are. Sometimes I see other people's artwork and just think, "damn, how did they even think of that that's so cool". I just find that the more creative and abstract ideas don't come to me naturally. When I do try to think of ideas for something more abstract, I often end up thinking it feels forced, or like i am just copying what I think abstract art should look like.
I end up thinking things like "Am I just not creative enough?" or "Do I even have what it takes to be what I think is a 'proper artist'?", and just doubting myself and my artistic abilities and creativity. I feel like non-artists dont really get this, they see my art and see that it is skillful and all, and they are like "What are you talking about?? your art is so good!" But i think other artists will understand what I am talking about.
And to be honest, this is yet an unsolved problem for me, because I really don't know how to change this other than to just try. To just keep making art, trying different and new ideas until I find a not-realistic style that i fuck with. Keep studying other artists' work, observing, and trying to turn my thoughts, feelings, views, and ideas into visual art.
I might add more to this thought later but it's finished for now.